It's not easy having a blended family! We live in a Yours, Mine and Ours kind of family, and it's tough!
When my husband and I got married a little over 10 years ago, we each had a child from previous relationships. Our kids kind of brought us together in a way because we could relate to each other and it was nice to be in a relationship with someone who had a kid and could understand what it was like being a parent.
Over the years, we have dealt with some really messed up stuff from our exes. Everything from not changing diapers at all for an entire 8 hour visit and causing massive diaper rash to getting children and youth involved to lies and excuses! It's been torture! What our exes don't get is that it has been torture on our kids! Those people that they are supposedly trying to protect are the very people they are hurting the most.
We have to fight for time to see my stepson. My husband's ex does not make it easy by any means! We see him only every other weekend, and we are supposed to get half of his school breaks. My husband will send her an email to plan out the breaks to make it even. Her response...if you want him the extra time then you have to bring him home, otherwise, he's staying with me. Based on the court order, whoever gets the child for visitation is the one that picks him up. She hates driving, and since it's almost an hour drive between our houses, she will make it as difficult as possible to get our allotted time with him.
It really makes me sad that we have to fight so hard to see him. She recently used the excuse that it isn't fair to her that we get him for 1 extra day of his school holidays. WHAT? She gets him all the time, we only have him every other weekend, how is that possibly unfair?
For the record, I can see these situations from both sides...we only have my stepson every other weekend, but my son lives with us and sees his dad only every other weekend. So where we have to fight for time with my stepson, we don't have to do that so much with my son. My ex will ask for extra time with my son and he constantly asks to switch his visitations to suit his life. Though it can be aggravating for me that he asks to change his days almost every week, I am flexible as long as I don't have any plans. He definitely takes advantage of that, and I am well aware that he does. My biggest thing is that I don't feel like my son should have to suffer because his dad has something better to do than to make their scheduled visitation. I don't see how it is my son's fault that his dad changed the days. My son enjoys going to his dad's house, and I don't want to be a reason for them not to have a relationship. It doesn't make sense for him to have to fight for every second he gets with his son.
My ex and I do not, by any means, get along. He tries to make my life hell, he bashes me to my son and he does not provide my son with a healthy environment. The court says I have to let him see his son. I feel it is best to make that as easy as possible for the sake of my son. My ex certainly does not return the favor of being flexible with visitation time. If I ask for something or want to switch visitation times, I get nothing but lies, excuses and lots of trouble.
I will never understand why neither of our exes want to do what is in our kids best interests. I will never get why they make everything so difficult on our kids. I hope that someday, they open their eyes and see that all those years that they were trying to hurt us, they were really hurting their own kids.
It's difficult being in a blended family. Luckily, our kids are older now and I think (and hope) they understand that we love them and want what is best for them.
Thursday, February 4, 2016
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Essential Oils
It's been forever since I have written a blog post! Today, I am choosing to write about essential oils because I have been doing a lot of research on them and I've found so much information it is overwhelming!
My interest in Essential oils started with a friend that said they were a great way to boost the immune system. That is right up my alley because I get sick often, as do my kids! I ended up doing a Facebook event with some Young Living reps. They taught us about 10 of the top oils, how to use them, what they did, and they gave us some info about the company. They answered a lot of our questions throughout the event. It was very informative! I learned a lot about essential oils, though there were some major red flags that went up.
The first red flag was the reps were not medical professionals, but I felt like they were pushing medication on me. They went through the oils, listing what the oils are good for and ways to use them to prevent or treat medical conditions without a medical background.
Another red flag was that they said the oils are safe to ingest. Not only did they say it, they insisted it! They said you can add the oils to your water, put a drop on your tongue, fill capsules and swallow them, etc. I know that Young Living says this is safe, but where is their proof? Where are their medical professionals?
The biggest red flag of all for me was that a Young Living rep told me I could use essential oils to replace my Synthroid. WHAT? A rep of a multi-level marketing (MLM) company told me I could stop taking my Synthroid and use essential oils to replace it. This rep does not have a medical degree, and as far as I know, is not in the medical profession at all. But she insisted that I could use essential oils to replace my medication. I don't know about you, but I can't see taking medical advice about how to treat my thyroid issues from someone that doesn't have a medical degree.
At the end of the Young Living Facebook event, they so wonderfully posted a slide that said we could own the oils and a diffuser...for $150! They insisted it was a wonderful deal! Someone asked about cheaper options, and they kind of hid that in the comments, I guess they wanted to be able to make more money off of everyone.
By the time the class was done, I knew I had to do my research. With all the red flags and then the steep price, I knew there had to be more info out there that would help me make a decision on the best oils for me to use. So I took to the internet, searching for as much information as I could find.
I came across Whole New Mom Blog and found some great information...A 7 part posting about what essential oil company is best. This series of blog posts really addressed a lot of issues with essential oil companies. As someone that is new to essential oils, I learned a lot! I found a similar blog post from The Hippy Homemaker. It was good to get different opinions.
I continued to do research and I also asked some family and friends that were not associated with Young Living their thoughts. Some people recommended a Young Living rep while others said they didn't know much about the oils even though they have some.
My sister was probably the biggest help! She gave me the info of a friend of her's that sells her essential oils. I had met her friend before so it was nice to have a friendly face to talk to, even though our conversation was through Facebook! Anyway, she gave me some great information to read and sent me to her website, Scentsible By Nature and her Facebook page Aromatherapy - Scentsible By Nature. I read all of the articles she had posted and found some amazing information, including proof that you shouldn't ingest the essential oils or put them directly on the skin without a carrier oil. She also has some great products and she mixes the oils together to create blends that help with stress, sickness, etc. She really had a lot of useful things to say. She wasn't trying to sell me anything either, she was truly just giving me information and she told me to make up my mind on what I wanted to buy and who I wanted to buy from. Unlike Young Living, who claimed their products are the best and no one else can compare to them.
I know I still have a lot of research to do, but for now I will definitely not be ingesting essential oils and I will continue to do my research to figure out the best products for me.
The biggest red flag of all for me was that a Young Living rep told me I could use essential oils to replace my Synthroid. WHAT? A rep of a multi-level marketing (MLM) company told me I could stop taking my Synthroid and use essential oils to replace it. This rep does not have a medical degree, and as far as I know, is not in the medical profession at all. But she insisted that I could use essential oils to replace my medication. I don't know about you, but I can't see taking medical advice about how to treat my thyroid issues from someone that doesn't have a medical degree.
At the end of the Young Living Facebook event, they so wonderfully posted a slide that said we could own the oils and a diffuser...for $150! They insisted it was a wonderful deal! Someone asked about cheaper options, and they kind of hid that in the comments, I guess they wanted to be able to make more money off of everyone.
By the time the class was done, I knew I had to do my research. With all the red flags and then the steep price, I knew there had to be more info out there that would help me make a decision on the best oils for me to use. So I took to the internet, searching for as much information as I could find.
I came across Whole New Mom Blog and found some great information...A 7 part posting about what essential oil company is best. This series of blog posts really addressed a lot of issues with essential oil companies. As someone that is new to essential oils, I learned a lot! I found a similar blog post from The Hippy Homemaker. It was good to get different opinions.
I continued to do research and I also asked some family and friends that were not associated with Young Living their thoughts. Some people recommended a Young Living rep while others said they didn't know much about the oils even though they have some.
My sister was probably the biggest help! She gave me the info of a friend of her's that sells her essential oils. I had met her friend before so it was nice to have a friendly face to talk to, even though our conversation was through Facebook! Anyway, she gave me some great information to read and sent me to her website, Scentsible By Nature and her Facebook page Aromatherapy - Scentsible By Nature. I read all of the articles she had posted and found some amazing information, including proof that you shouldn't ingest the essential oils or put them directly on the skin without a carrier oil. She also has some great products and she mixes the oils together to create blends that help with stress, sickness, etc. She really had a lot of useful things to say. She wasn't trying to sell me anything either, she was truly just giving me information and she told me to make up my mind on what I wanted to buy and who I wanted to buy from. Unlike Young Living, who claimed their products are the best and no one else can compare to them.
I know I still have a lot of research to do, but for now I will definitely not be ingesting essential oils and I will continue to do my research to figure out the best products for me.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Eating Better
I've been eating healthier for the past 2 weeks. I have been tracking everything I eat, which helps me to be more accountable for what I put in my body. Tonight, I finally broke out the eat-clean cookbook my sister gave me. I made the pasta with chicken and broccoli. It went over really well with my entire family, they all loved it!! It was nice to see my 5 year old actually eat his entire dinner without complaining.
I'm trying to eat better and to have my family eat better. I've been buying more organic fruits and veggies, organic chicken, and when I buy snacks, I am putting them in snack bags so the kids can grab 1 serving and not eat out of the box and end up eating half the box. I have also stopped drinking soda and have only been drinking water flavored with propel zero or a cucumber slice. I drink plain water when I can, but it gets old fast!
I'm feeling better and I'm starting to see more results from all the exercise I do. I guess I just figured I could eat whatever I wanted because I got in anywhere from 1000 to 2000 exercise minutes per month. That isn't the case at all. I still crave the junk food, but as long as I don't see it I'm good. I have more willpower than I thought!!
I'm trying to eat better and to have my family eat better. I've been buying more organic fruits and veggies, organic chicken, and when I buy snacks, I am putting them in snack bags so the kids can grab 1 serving and not eat out of the box and end up eating half the box. I have also stopped drinking soda and have only been drinking water flavored with propel zero or a cucumber slice. I drink plain water when I can, but it gets old fast!
I'm feeling better and I'm starting to see more results from all the exercise I do. I guess I just figured I could eat whatever I wanted because I got in anywhere from 1000 to 2000 exercise minutes per month. That isn't the case at all. I still crave the junk food, but as long as I don't see it I'm good. I have more willpower than I thought!!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Life is Busy
I thought I had a lot to do before, but being part of a group that is raising money to do the 60 mile Susan G. Komen walk has really kept me busy. I myself have gone overboard with fundraisers! I've contacted so many companies to try to get some fundraisers going. Now, we have 5 fundraisers coming up, 2 of them are pretty big, and we have a lot of work to do.
It feels really good to make a difference. I'm really having a good time planning, putting ornaments together, and having so much to look forward to. I also feel like I am burning out and maybe planning too much at once.
I think I need to force myself to take a break for a day. I spend every waking moment thinking of what needs to be done, making flyers, making lists, putting ornaments together, coming up with other fundraisers. I can only do so much without burning out and I don't want to do that. We have a lot of money to raise and a little less than a year to do it, so my days don't have to be 100% consumed by this. I am having a great time with it all, but I also need a break once in a while. I think I just dive into things and end up allowing them to consume my life. Once the big events are done, I'll have a couple weeks to take a break! For now...it's time to get busy!!
It feels really good to make a difference. I'm really having a good time planning, putting ornaments together, and having so much to look forward to. I also feel like I am burning out and maybe planning too much at once.
I think I need to force myself to take a break for a day. I spend every waking moment thinking of what needs to be done, making flyers, making lists, putting ornaments together, coming up with other fundraisers. I can only do so much without burning out and I don't want to do that. We have a lot of money to raise and a little less than a year to do it, so my days don't have to be 100% consumed by this. I am having a great time with it all, but I also need a break once in a while. I think I just dive into things and end up allowing them to consume my life. Once the big events are done, I'll have a couple weeks to take a break! For now...it's time to get busy!!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Week 8 Done
Yesterday completed week 8 of my venture towards a healthier me! I've stayed on track with my strength training, and I can see more tone in my body! I've done pretty good with cardio and walking. Last week, I added a new fitness class into my schedule. I started a cage fitness class. It is awesome! It is 30 minutes of cardio and strength mixed together. I bought 20 classes through Groupon! I did the class twice last week and will try for 2 days a week for the next 9 weeks.
I'm still tired and still get chest pain. I am fine while I'm exercising, but when I am done, I am feeling pretty exhausted. Not sure if it is from my thyroid or some other issue, but it's pretty annoying that I still seem to have no energy.
I've been eating a little better lately, but still not on track with my diet. My goal is to eat better and continue with my workouts.
I'm still tired and still get chest pain. I am fine while I'm exercising, but when I am done, I am feeling pretty exhausted. Not sure if it is from my thyroid or some other issue, but it's pretty annoying that I still seem to have no energy.
I've been eating a little better lately, but still not on track with my diet. My goal is to eat better and continue with my workouts.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Time to Get Back on Track
I realized that I need to get back on track with my life and stop worrying about the people that are trying to bring me down. I was talking to one of the dads at soccer last night. He's divorced, has 2 kids with his ex-wife, and has been going through hell with her. He's trying to be a good dad and live his life, but she's always trying to bring him down and make him look like the bad guy. She drags him to court for every little thing. I feel bad for him!
I can also totally relate to him! Between my ex and my husband's ex, I totally understand where he is coming from. I've been able to distance myself from their negativity. I don't let it consume my life like it once had. Yes, I get upset at times, but I deal with it and let it go. I used to hold on to the anger and dwell on things and all it did was make me really stressed. I learned that I have no control over what they do with our kids or what they say and I need to just live my life, deal with things as they come up and then move on.
For days now I've been dwelling on the stuff that happened with my in-laws. Trying to replay my nephew's party over and over in my head to figure out what I did wrong. Talking to people to try to figure it all out. I keep coming back to the same place and yet I keep dwelling on it. I have no control over what they do, what they say or how they decide to handle situations. The only thing I have control over is myself. I need to just let it go.
I am so much happier when I don't dwell on things. I am more productive, have more fun with my family and I feel better about myself overall. Today, I am making the decision to stop letting them affect my life in a negative way. They are who they are and I am who I am and if we don't get along, it's ok. They don't have to like me and I don't have to like them. I can be civil towards them and treat them decently. I only have to see them on holidays and at birthday parties for my kids...I can handle that! I can already feel the weight lifting off my shoulders. This will be good!
I can also totally relate to him! Between my ex and my husband's ex, I totally understand where he is coming from. I've been able to distance myself from their negativity. I don't let it consume my life like it once had. Yes, I get upset at times, but I deal with it and let it go. I used to hold on to the anger and dwell on things and all it did was make me really stressed. I learned that I have no control over what they do with our kids or what they say and I need to just live my life, deal with things as they come up and then move on.
For days now I've been dwelling on the stuff that happened with my in-laws. Trying to replay my nephew's party over and over in my head to figure out what I did wrong. Talking to people to try to figure it all out. I keep coming back to the same place and yet I keep dwelling on it. I have no control over what they do, what they say or how they decide to handle situations. The only thing I have control over is myself. I need to just let it go.
I am so much happier when I don't dwell on things. I am more productive, have more fun with my family and I feel better about myself overall. Today, I am making the decision to stop letting them affect my life in a negative way. They are who they are and I am who I am and if we don't get along, it's ok. They don't have to like me and I don't have to like them. I can be civil towards them and treat them decently. I only have to see them on holidays and at birthday parties for my kids...I can handle that! I can already feel the weight lifting off my shoulders. This will be good!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Dealing with the Devil
When you think of family, you think of people who love you, support you and are always there for you. To me family doesn't mean they have to be blood related. I have friends that I consider part of my family, that I am closer to than some people that are blood related to me. The people I care about most are my family!
I married my husband because I loved him and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We had already been through hell before we got married, dealing with both of our exes and the issues they caused for us and our kids. We stuck by each other through all the stress and even through the arguments we had over some of those issues. He's been my rock and I love him for that!
Since we have been married, his family has caused me much pain, sorrow, aggravation and stress. I have tried to deal with them. When we get together with them, I either sit there and don't say a word or I stay in the room with the kids and play with them. I am totally uncomfortable around them. I really wish I didn't have to be around them ever. Needless to say, I don't see these people as my family. They have never been there for me, they have never tried to get to know me. They have only ever caused me grief.
On Sunday night, my husband went to talk to his sister. She claims she has no issues with me whatsoever. She claims she likes me, she's just been busy for the past 8 years and didn't have time to get to know me. She claims that she really wants to be close to me and wishes we had more time to hang out. My MIL claims she also has nothing against me. They both claim there is no awkwardness when we get together with them. I find it funny that these people can make these claims and yet my FIL says my MIL and SIL feel like they are always under a microscope because they are worried that they will treat the kids differently again. He said some other stuff too that shows that they have issues.
My SIL and MIL always lie. My MIL lied to my SIL and BIL years ago when she claimed I was being mean to her because I wanted her to treat my son better. She got her whole family against me and they all stopped talking to us for years. They lied to my husband on Monday night when they said there were no issues. I say this for several reasons:
1. My MIL and SIL are very cold towards me. We could be in the same room for hours and they will ignore me, make snide comments, and act like they are better then me.
2. My friends, whenever they are here when my SIL picks up her son or at parties for my kids, can see the awkwardness and the lack of communication between us.
3. My MIL favors my step-son and nephew, but both kids that I had, even the one I had with her son, are never priorities. She has no problems not seeing them for months. She never asks about my kids. And when they want to do something with us, they will only do it if my step-son is here.
4. You can sense the awkwardness, and my FIL and husband both feel it too. My FIL knows more than what he is saying, but he doesn't want to be in the middle so he won't come clean.
5. There are other reasons, but it's too much to type in one blog post!
My SIL uses her depression as her excuse for her actions. She claims she still has postpartum and that is why she acts the way she does. At least that's what she told my husband on Monday. I don't need to hear excuses. If you feel you still have issues a year after your child was born then you should get help! She wasn't being mean to anyone else at her son's party, so the depression excuse isn't going to fly.
I wanted to be close to them. I tried to be close to them. It's never going to happen. A part of me thinks my SIL and MIL are the devil. They are just so evil and they care about no one but themselves. My FIL is going through hell right now because of the 2 of them. Maybe they don't have an issue with me. Maybe they are just evil people!
I married my husband because I loved him and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We had already been through hell before we got married, dealing with both of our exes and the issues they caused for us and our kids. We stuck by each other through all the stress and even through the arguments we had over some of those issues. He's been my rock and I love him for that!
Since we have been married, his family has caused me much pain, sorrow, aggravation and stress. I have tried to deal with them. When we get together with them, I either sit there and don't say a word or I stay in the room with the kids and play with them. I am totally uncomfortable around them. I really wish I didn't have to be around them ever. Needless to say, I don't see these people as my family. They have never been there for me, they have never tried to get to know me. They have only ever caused me grief.
On Sunday night, my husband went to talk to his sister. She claims she has no issues with me whatsoever. She claims she likes me, she's just been busy for the past 8 years and didn't have time to get to know me. She claims that she really wants to be close to me and wishes we had more time to hang out. My MIL claims she also has nothing against me. They both claim there is no awkwardness when we get together with them. I find it funny that these people can make these claims and yet my FIL says my MIL and SIL feel like they are always under a microscope because they are worried that they will treat the kids differently again. He said some other stuff too that shows that they have issues.
My SIL and MIL always lie. My MIL lied to my SIL and BIL years ago when she claimed I was being mean to her because I wanted her to treat my son better. She got her whole family against me and they all stopped talking to us for years. They lied to my husband on Monday night when they said there were no issues. I say this for several reasons:
1. My MIL and SIL are very cold towards me. We could be in the same room for hours and they will ignore me, make snide comments, and act like they are better then me.
2. My friends, whenever they are here when my SIL picks up her son or at parties for my kids, can see the awkwardness and the lack of communication between us.
3. My MIL favors my step-son and nephew, but both kids that I had, even the one I had with her son, are never priorities. She has no problems not seeing them for months. She never asks about my kids. And when they want to do something with us, they will only do it if my step-son is here.
4. You can sense the awkwardness, and my FIL and husband both feel it too. My FIL knows more than what he is saying, but he doesn't want to be in the middle so he won't come clean.
5. There are other reasons, but it's too much to type in one blog post!
My SIL uses her depression as her excuse for her actions. She claims she still has postpartum and that is why she acts the way she does. At least that's what she told my husband on Monday. I don't need to hear excuses. If you feel you still have issues a year after your child was born then you should get help! She wasn't being mean to anyone else at her son's party, so the depression excuse isn't going to fly.
I wanted to be close to them. I tried to be close to them. It's never going to happen. A part of me thinks my SIL and MIL are the devil. They are just so evil and they care about no one but themselves. My FIL is going through hell right now because of the 2 of them. Maybe they don't have an issue with me. Maybe they are just evil people!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
My Day of Hell!
Yesterday, also known as my day of hell, wasn't supposed to go the way it did, and yet I knew months ago that it wasn't going to be the best day.
Yesterday was my nephew's first birthday party. I knew it was going to be really awkward and there was the potential for issues, I just didn't realize it was going to turn into such hell.
We were going to be a little late because my step-son had a soccer game in the morning. We were going to miss my son's soccer game in the afternoon to go to the party, but that worked out because the game was cancelled.
We headed out around 11:30am for our 2 hours drive to get to the party. I thought about what could go wrong in my head all the way there, the stupid little things, the awkwardness, the feeling like I didn't belong every time we get together with my husband's side of the family. I wasn't prepared for what happened though.
We got to the party and my SIL and BIL were setting things up, getting everything ready, running around like crazy as you do when you are hosting a party. My SIL's friend was holding my nephew, so I went over to him and said hi. He wasn't the happiest little critter because it was so windy and cold out and he didn't like it. My SIL walked over to us, and I said Hi to her. She seemed busy, so I didn't get in her way. I said hi to the rest of my husband's family and some other people that were there. I tried to say hi to my BIL, but he was on the move so much and when I waved to him he ignored me.
The party continued. I took my kids to the playground for a while and just kind of stayed off on my own so my SIL and BIL could enjoy there day. There has been such tension ever since my husband told them I wasn't going to watch my nephew as of December 31. And, from what I found out yesterday, she gave everyone a different story because everyone was surprised when I told them she had until December 31 and yet she quit her job as of October 21. Everyone was under the impression that I only gave her a few weeks to figure something out and she's been making a big deal out of her having to quit her job because I won't watch my nephew anymore. My husband found out that she gave her resignation because one day last week she fell asleep at the wheel driving to work and the only reason she woke up was because someone honked because she was crossing the line.
Back to the party...my son came over to me and said it was time to eat, so my husband and I went over and grabbed some food. We sat down to eat and I noticed my SIL was going around talking to everyone in her family. I can read lips, to a certain degree, and could tell she was saying that I didn't say hi to her or give her a hug or anything. She told her brother that I was ignoring her and her husband. She moved around from group to group telling everyone I was ignoring her. Then she went over to where all the presents were and she was crying. Her husband went over to her and asked why she was crying. They talked, they argued, and then he had my nephew and she was trying to get things put away.
I went over to her and asked her if she needed any help. She was so cold to me! She was trying to put away the pack-n-play but she said she couldn't figure out how to fold it up, so I did it for her. She just kept saying she was packing things up. I asked what I could do and she said nothing and walked away. I realized that my MIL, SIL and BIL were all avoiding me at this point, and giving me looks at the same time from across the room. WTF? I talked to my husband about it, told him what I saw her say to some people. He went over to her, asked her if she was ok, and she said "I don't want to talk to you right now!" He told me she said that and he said he really wanted to just go home at that point. So did I!
I thought that was the end of it, but no. That was just the beginning! My phone rang, so I answered it and was talking to a friend of mine about this and some other stuff. I went off to the side of the playground away from the pavilion so no one could hear me. I saw my SIL walking to the parking lot, and then my BIL walking after her. My FIL went to the parking lot carrying some stuff. I got off the phone and my husband asked me what I wanted to do. I told him I wanted to go home. We talked for a bit and then we went back to the pavilion.
My husband went over to his dad to say goodbye, and his dad flipped. We were all supposed to be going back to my SIL's apartment, and my FIL didn't understand why we weren't going back. My husband explained all the issues that occurred over the past hour, and my FIL started slamming his trunk and turned to me and yelled at me. He yelled "when was the last time you hugged my daughter?" I was shocked. I told him "we don't hug often, we just don't do it." He yelled "But when was the last time you hugged her?" I had so many things going through my head. What the hell was this man yelling at me for? What did I do wrong? Who cares if I hug her? We don't hug very often! She didn't even say bye to me at my son's party, but she's pissed because I didn't hug her? WHAT??
I was so confused and so upset. The more my FIL yelled at me, the more upset I got. I started crying and yelled for my kids to go to the car with me. Of course, they took their time and I just wanted to go as fast as possible! My husband's brothers friend followed us. He didn't say anything to me, but he helped me get the kids to the car. I felt like such an ass walking through the park to the car crying. Everyone was huddled over by my SIL's car and I'm sure she was giving them an earful about me.
It felt like forever, but we finally got to the car and I got the kids inside and I just stood there and cried. My husband's brother's friend came over to me and hugged me. He told me it was all ok. I cried and tried to talk to him. I told him I did say hi to her and I tried to talk to my BIL. I was so upset that she was doing this to me and I just couldn't believe what was going on. I told him that we gave them 3 1/2 months notice until I couldn't watch my nephew anymore and things have been tense since then. He assured me that I wasn't the one at fault and that she wasn't being an adult about it. He made me feel better, but I just couldn't stop crying.
Then I noticed a car pulled up behind mine. I didn't look up, I could tell it was my FIL's car. I had no idea what to expect. Was he going to yell at me again? Was he going to tell me never to go near them again? He got out of the car, came over to me and he told me he loved me and he was sorry for yelling at me. He said it's not my fault what is going on. The more he talked the more I cried and the less I was able to speak. I was eventually able to get words out, and I told him that I felt like his daughter hated me. I said it was difficult for me to even come to the party since there has been so much tension and I explained that I did say hi to her. He hugged me, told me how sorry he was, he cried, and he told me he loved me. He said he would understand if I didn't want to go back to my SIL's house.
On a side note, when I said hi to my SIL, she didn't come over to me or hug me. My BIL didn't even try to come over to me at all the entire time we were there.
Anyway, my FIL went over to talk to my husband and his brother and his friend came over to talk to me. I was still crying, I just couldn't stop. We decided to go back to their house to be the bigger people. It was a party for nephew, not for my SIL, and why should he suffer because of the issues that were occurring. My FIL walked over and gave me a hug again and told me that it was good of me to go back there and he said he loved me again.
On the way there, I cried! I just couldn't stop crying, but I was trying to compose myself so I wasn't crying at their house. I did ok inside. We got there and they were about to open gifts. I stayed off to the side and watched as my MIL gave me looks from across the room. I was so uncomfortable! I just wanted to leave, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream at them for making me feel so horrible! I didn't do any of that. I just sat there, frozen, like a statue trying to keep it together. My BIL's parents talked to me and my husband a lot.
After gifts was cake. I was in the kitchen at the time, and my SIL completely ignored me. So I left and went into the living room and stood by the door out of the way. Her friends were giving me looks from across the room. My nephew was on the floor and every time we started crawling over to me, one of her friends ran over and picked him up. I felt like I was the most horrible person. It took everything I had not to open that door and walk out. I stayed in the living room when we ate cake. After the cake, my SIL came in and sat next to her friend and they whispered and they looked at me and they made their little comments. They were whispering and then one looked at me and said "you should start a countdown so you can see it's getting closer." I would assume that them looking at me meant she was counting down to when I didn't have to watch her son anymore. Ugh!
Finally, it was time to leave. I hugged everyone, my BIL, SIL, MIL, FIL, other BIL, his friend. I just wanted to get out of there. my SIL's friends didn't even say a word to us, they were just glaring at me like I was the devil. My SIL told my husband they needed to talk. We left.
When we got to the car, I lost it. I balled my eyes out. I cried all the way home. I talked to my husband about how I don't want to watch my nephew anymore because now it's just going to be hell every time I have to see his sister. We talked, I cried...for 2 hours!
All day, since I started crying, my kids were trying to cheer me up. They wanted to know why I was upset, but I wouldn't tell them. They sang songs for me, told me stories they made up, and did stuff to try to make me happier. When we got home, my 5 year old walks in the kitchen and asks me why we were fighting with his aunt. Apparently, he's the only one that pays attention to what is going on in the world around him! I wouldn't answer him at all. We decided to watch Karate Dog with the kids and ordered pizza.
I was hoping that when I went to bed last night that I could put all of this behind me and wake up in better spirits. No such luck. I woke up and instantly started crying. I am just so upset that she would be so cruel. Now she's going to blame me for ruining her son's 1st birthday party and all because she claims I ignored her. She had all of her family and all of her friends at that party, why does she care if I ignore her? She doesn't even like me! She hasn't liked me since the issues with my MIL treating my son horribly happened. I've never been close to my husband's family! NEVER! It just makes no sense to me. I said hi to her, but she's making me out to be this horrible person. WTF???
I've been crying off and on today. I just can't seem to get it together. I am planning on taking my kids apple picking later, and I just really hope that I can hold it together for their sake. Maybe getting out and keeping busy will help me. I'm just feeling so depressed and upset and I can't figure out what happened.
It's another situation that has happened that I really wish my dad was here. He would be able to help me through this. He would make me feel better. Just knowing he was here and still alive would make me feel better! It's one of those times that makes his death so much more difficult for me to handle!
Yesterday was my nephew's first birthday party. I knew it was going to be really awkward and there was the potential for issues, I just didn't realize it was going to turn into such hell.
We were going to be a little late because my step-son had a soccer game in the morning. We were going to miss my son's soccer game in the afternoon to go to the party, but that worked out because the game was cancelled.
We headed out around 11:30am for our 2 hours drive to get to the party. I thought about what could go wrong in my head all the way there, the stupid little things, the awkwardness, the feeling like I didn't belong every time we get together with my husband's side of the family. I wasn't prepared for what happened though.
We got to the party and my SIL and BIL were setting things up, getting everything ready, running around like crazy as you do when you are hosting a party. My SIL's friend was holding my nephew, so I went over to him and said hi. He wasn't the happiest little critter because it was so windy and cold out and he didn't like it. My SIL walked over to us, and I said Hi to her. She seemed busy, so I didn't get in her way. I said hi to the rest of my husband's family and some other people that were there. I tried to say hi to my BIL, but he was on the move so much and when I waved to him he ignored me.
The party continued. I took my kids to the playground for a while and just kind of stayed off on my own so my SIL and BIL could enjoy there day. There has been such tension ever since my husband told them I wasn't going to watch my nephew as of December 31. And, from what I found out yesterday, she gave everyone a different story because everyone was surprised when I told them she had until December 31 and yet she quit her job as of October 21. Everyone was under the impression that I only gave her a few weeks to figure something out and she's been making a big deal out of her having to quit her job because I won't watch my nephew anymore. My husband found out that she gave her resignation because one day last week she fell asleep at the wheel driving to work and the only reason she woke up was because someone honked because she was crossing the line.
Back to the party...my son came over to me and said it was time to eat, so my husband and I went over and grabbed some food. We sat down to eat and I noticed my SIL was going around talking to everyone in her family. I can read lips, to a certain degree, and could tell she was saying that I didn't say hi to her or give her a hug or anything. She told her brother that I was ignoring her and her husband. She moved around from group to group telling everyone I was ignoring her. Then she went over to where all the presents were and she was crying. Her husband went over to her and asked why she was crying. They talked, they argued, and then he had my nephew and she was trying to get things put away.
I went over to her and asked her if she needed any help. She was so cold to me! She was trying to put away the pack-n-play but she said she couldn't figure out how to fold it up, so I did it for her. She just kept saying she was packing things up. I asked what I could do and she said nothing and walked away. I realized that my MIL, SIL and BIL were all avoiding me at this point, and giving me looks at the same time from across the room. WTF? I talked to my husband about it, told him what I saw her say to some people. He went over to her, asked her if she was ok, and she said "I don't want to talk to you right now!" He told me she said that and he said he really wanted to just go home at that point. So did I!
I thought that was the end of it, but no. That was just the beginning! My phone rang, so I answered it and was talking to a friend of mine about this and some other stuff. I went off to the side of the playground away from the pavilion so no one could hear me. I saw my SIL walking to the parking lot, and then my BIL walking after her. My FIL went to the parking lot carrying some stuff. I got off the phone and my husband asked me what I wanted to do. I told him I wanted to go home. We talked for a bit and then we went back to the pavilion.
My husband went over to his dad to say goodbye, and his dad flipped. We were all supposed to be going back to my SIL's apartment, and my FIL didn't understand why we weren't going back. My husband explained all the issues that occurred over the past hour, and my FIL started slamming his trunk and turned to me and yelled at me. He yelled "when was the last time you hugged my daughter?" I was shocked. I told him "we don't hug often, we just don't do it." He yelled "But when was the last time you hugged her?" I had so many things going through my head. What the hell was this man yelling at me for? What did I do wrong? Who cares if I hug her? We don't hug very often! She didn't even say bye to me at my son's party, but she's pissed because I didn't hug her? WHAT??
I was so confused and so upset. The more my FIL yelled at me, the more upset I got. I started crying and yelled for my kids to go to the car with me. Of course, they took their time and I just wanted to go as fast as possible! My husband's brothers friend followed us. He didn't say anything to me, but he helped me get the kids to the car. I felt like such an ass walking through the park to the car crying. Everyone was huddled over by my SIL's car and I'm sure she was giving them an earful about me.
It felt like forever, but we finally got to the car and I got the kids inside and I just stood there and cried. My husband's brother's friend came over to me and hugged me. He told me it was all ok. I cried and tried to talk to him. I told him I did say hi to her and I tried to talk to my BIL. I was so upset that she was doing this to me and I just couldn't believe what was going on. I told him that we gave them 3 1/2 months notice until I couldn't watch my nephew anymore and things have been tense since then. He assured me that I wasn't the one at fault and that she wasn't being an adult about it. He made me feel better, but I just couldn't stop crying.
Then I noticed a car pulled up behind mine. I didn't look up, I could tell it was my FIL's car. I had no idea what to expect. Was he going to yell at me again? Was he going to tell me never to go near them again? He got out of the car, came over to me and he told me he loved me and he was sorry for yelling at me. He said it's not my fault what is going on. The more he talked the more I cried and the less I was able to speak. I was eventually able to get words out, and I told him that I felt like his daughter hated me. I said it was difficult for me to even come to the party since there has been so much tension and I explained that I did say hi to her. He hugged me, told me how sorry he was, he cried, and he told me he loved me. He said he would understand if I didn't want to go back to my SIL's house.
On a side note, when I said hi to my SIL, she didn't come over to me or hug me. My BIL didn't even try to come over to me at all the entire time we were there.
Anyway, my FIL went over to talk to my husband and his brother and his friend came over to talk to me. I was still crying, I just couldn't stop. We decided to go back to their house to be the bigger people. It was a party for nephew, not for my SIL, and why should he suffer because of the issues that were occurring. My FIL walked over and gave me a hug again and told me that it was good of me to go back there and he said he loved me again.
On the way there, I cried! I just couldn't stop crying, but I was trying to compose myself so I wasn't crying at their house. I did ok inside. We got there and they were about to open gifts. I stayed off to the side and watched as my MIL gave me looks from across the room. I was so uncomfortable! I just wanted to leave, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream at them for making me feel so horrible! I didn't do any of that. I just sat there, frozen, like a statue trying to keep it together. My BIL's parents talked to me and my husband a lot.
After gifts was cake. I was in the kitchen at the time, and my SIL completely ignored me. So I left and went into the living room and stood by the door out of the way. Her friends were giving me looks from across the room. My nephew was on the floor and every time we started crawling over to me, one of her friends ran over and picked him up. I felt like I was the most horrible person. It took everything I had not to open that door and walk out. I stayed in the living room when we ate cake. After the cake, my SIL came in and sat next to her friend and they whispered and they looked at me and they made their little comments. They were whispering and then one looked at me and said "you should start a countdown so you can see it's getting closer." I would assume that them looking at me meant she was counting down to when I didn't have to watch her son anymore. Ugh!
Finally, it was time to leave. I hugged everyone, my BIL, SIL, MIL, FIL, other BIL, his friend. I just wanted to get out of there. my SIL's friends didn't even say a word to us, they were just glaring at me like I was the devil. My SIL told my husband they needed to talk. We left.
When we got to the car, I lost it. I balled my eyes out. I cried all the way home. I talked to my husband about how I don't want to watch my nephew anymore because now it's just going to be hell every time I have to see his sister. We talked, I cried...for 2 hours!
All day, since I started crying, my kids were trying to cheer me up. They wanted to know why I was upset, but I wouldn't tell them. They sang songs for me, told me stories they made up, and did stuff to try to make me happier. When we got home, my 5 year old walks in the kitchen and asks me why we were fighting with his aunt. Apparently, he's the only one that pays attention to what is going on in the world around him! I wouldn't answer him at all. We decided to watch Karate Dog with the kids and ordered pizza.
I was hoping that when I went to bed last night that I could put all of this behind me and wake up in better spirits. No such luck. I woke up and instantly started crying. I am just so upset that she would be so cruel. Now she's going to blame me for ruining her son's 1st birthday party and all because she claims I ignored her. She had all of her family and all of her friends at that party, why does she care if I ignore her? She doesn't even like me! She hasn't liked me since the issues with my MIL treating my son horribly happened. I've never been close to my husband's family! NEVER! It just makes no sense to me. I said hi to her, but she's making me out to be this horrible person. WTF???
I've been crying off and on today. I just can't seem to get it together. I am planning on taking my kids apple picking later, and I just really hope that I can hold it together for their sake. Maybe getting out and keeping busy will help me. I'm just feeling so depressed and upset and I can't figure out what happened.
It's another situation that has happened that I really wish my dad was here. He would be able to help me through this. He would make me feel better. Just knowing he was here and still alive would make me feel better! It's one of those times that makes his death so much more difficult for me to handle!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
To Diet or Not to Diet!
I know my eating habits are not what they should be, and I can't seem to break out of my bad habits! I do really good in the morning, but come afternoon or evening, I'm ready to grab for the junk food. Yes, I know that I could deal with that by not having junk food in the house. It's rough during soccer season, I don't get to cook like I want to, so we eat a lot of cereal and waffles and quick stuff.
I thought about doing the Special K Challenge, but the more I look at it, the more unsure I am of it. Where are the fruits and vegetables? It seems kind of odd to eat a snack bar for lunch. I feel like I'd be hungry all the time and that would just get me in more trouble because I'd be snacking all the time. I guess with some willpower, I could get through the 2 weeks and if it helped me to lose even a pound, that would be good. I could see it being a gateway to me eating better, but then again I could just start eating better and not do the Special K Challenge.
I'm torn! I want to eat better, I really do. Part of me is being lazy because I don't feel like taking my nephew food shopping, so I don't go during the week when he's here. Last time I took him, he screamed the entire time we were shopping! It was not an easy shopping trip! Part of me is so busy with everything else that I'm just not taking the time to fit in healthier eating. That is something that will change once I am not watching my nephew anymore!
I guess I could just buy a bunch of fruits and veggies and find recipes for healthier meals and get stuff ready so that I can start eating healthier. Instead of cookies I could eat an apple. I seem to eat a lot of pasta too, which I really should cut down on a lot.
I'm going to try to go to the library this week and take out a book on healthy eating. Maybe if I read about what I should be doing it will help me. I'm getting in a ton of exercise every week, the least I could do is eat healthier so I can actually see the benefits of all my hard work! It is stupid of me to keep eating the way I do. I'll be going food shopping tomorrow! Let's hope I can make better decisions on what I buy!
I thought about doing the Special K Challenge, but the more I look at it, the more unsure I am of it. Where are the fruits and vegetables? It seems kind of odd to eat a snack bar for lunch. I feel like I'd be hungry all the time and that would just get me in more trouble because I'd be snacking all the time. I guess with some willpower, I could get through the 2 weeks and if it helped me to lose even a pound, that would be good. I could see it being a gateway to me eating better, but then again I could just start eating better and not do the Special K Challenge.
I'm torn! I want to eat better, I really do. Part of me is being lazy because I don't feel like taking my nephew food shopping, so I don't go during the week when he's here. Last time I took him, he screamed the entire time we were shopping! It was not an easy shopping trip! Part of me is so busy with everything else that I'm just not taking the time to fit in healthier eating. That is something that will change once I am not watching my nephew anymore!
I guess I could just buy a bunch of fruits and veggies and find recipes for healthier meals and get stuff ready so that I can start eating healthier. Instead of cookies I could eat an apple. I seem to eat a lot of pasta too, which I really should cut down on a lot.
I'm going to try to go to the library this week and take out a book on healthy eating. Maybe if I read about what I should be doing it will help me. I'm getting in a ton of exercise every week, the least I could do is eat healthier so I can actually see the benefits of all my hard work! It is stupid of me to keep eating the way I do. I'll be going food shopping tomorrow! Let's hope I can make better decisions on what I buy!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Week 4 Completed!
Today is the end of week 4 of my exercise journey. I have done really well, but not good enough! I have consistently done my weight training every other day and have done cardio at least every other day. I should be doing cardio every day!
I've tried to eat better. With soccer season here, I don't cook like I would like to, so we eat whatever we can find in the house like cereal or waffles for dinner. I seem to do better during the day, and then when the kids come home I want to eat cookies or ice cream. I do need to have more fruit and veggies in the house. My plan is to go food shopping tomorrow to stock up on the good stuff!
As of Monday, I add a 4th day for strength training and I go from 3 to 5 lb. weights. I started off at 3 lbs. to make sure it didn't hurt my chest. But I find it easy at 3 lbs. so now it's time to move up.
I am proud of myself for sticking to my routine and pushing myself to make sure I do the exercises when I am supposed to. Some days are harder than others and I have to force myself to get through it! Day 2 of strength training is still a rough one! At this point, exercise has become part of my normal routine so sticking with it isn't so hard. I want to get the most out of my workouts, so I will continue to push myself through it every day and add more when necessary.
Now, to work on my eating habits...
I've tried to eat better. With soccer season here, I don't cook like I would like to, so we eat whatever we can find in the house like cereal or waffles for dinner. I seem to do better during the day, and then when the kids come home I want to eat cookies or ice cream. I do need to have more fruit and veggies in the house. My plan is to go food shopping tomorrow to stock up on the good stuff!
As of Monday, I add a 4th day for strength training and I go from 3 to 5 lb. weights. I started off at 3 lbs. to make sure it didn't hurt my chest. But I find it easy at 3 lbs. so now it's time to move up.
I am proud of myself for sticking to my routine and pushing myself to make sure I do the exercises when I am supposed to. Some days are harder than others and I have to force myself to get through it! Day 2 of strength training is still a rough one! At this point, exercise has become part of my normal routine so sticking with it isn't so hard. I want to get the most out of my workouts, so I will continue to push myself through it every day and add more when necessary.
Now, to work on my eating habits...
Thursday, September 22, 2011
The Greatest News Ever!
I got an email from my sister-in-law today! She handed in her resignation at her job. She said she had to give 30 days notice, so her last day is October 21!! WooooHoooo!!!
It will be awesome to finally have my freedom! I'll be able to volunteer in my sons classes/at their schools. I'll have time to get work done. I'll be able to go have lunch with my friends without having the baby with me. My house will actually not look like we have an infant of our own! Some of my stress will go away. I can feel the stress lifting off of me already! I am so excited to get my life back!
Who knew the word resignation could bring me so much joy! I am counting down to October 21!!
It will be awesome to finally have my freedom! I'll be able to volunteer in my sons classes/at their schools. I'll have time to get work done. I'll be able to go have lunch with my friends without having the baby with me. My house will actually not look like we have an infant of our own! Some of my stress will go away. I can feel the stress lifting off of me already! I am so excited to get my life back!
Who knew the word resignation could bring me so much joy! I am counting down to October 21!!
Inlaws = Disaster
I can't understand how some people claim that family is everything, and yet they will push family away and treat certain people in the family like crap. Ah yes, we come back to the in-laws yet again.
My son has a grandparents lunch coming up at school, so I invited my mom and my MIL and FIL. My mom was all for it. She was excited to be able to have lunch with my son at his school. My MIL told me she can't take the day off of work, so neither of them are going.
Ok, I get she has a job and all that. Let me also state that my nephew has been sick, and at my house for the past 2 days. I told my SIL on Tuesday that her son needs to go to the doctor. He was coughing and had a lot of chest congestion. He even sounded horse. She told me it was just him teething and not to worry about it. Yesterday, he was again at my house and he was coughing, very lethargic, and had a lot more congestion in his chest. When she picked him up, I again said she should make an appointment for him and even offered to take him to the doctor myself so she didn't have to take off work. She ended up getting an appointment last night and he has croup. So she texted me and told me that he wasn't coming today, her mom was taking the day off to stay with him.
First of all, why can't she stay home with her son? Her mom always takes off to take care of my nephew when he is sick. It makes no sense to me at all.
Second, why can my MIL take a day off of work to watch my sick nephew, but she can't take the day off to have lunch with my son at school? It's a one time thing. They only do this lunch in Kindergarten, so they won't get the chance to do this next year or any year after that. Not to mention she's been taking so much time off of work that she has been getting in trouble by her boss. She's going to end up losing her job all because she is taking care of her grandson.
My SIL is a prime example of why certain people shouldn't pro-create. She relies on her mom for everything, and my FIL is getting sick of it! She can't do anything on her own. She doesn't even take care of her kid. She seems to have absolutely no maternal instincts what-so-ever! She took money from her parents, who took the money out of their retirement funds, to pay her mortgage for the past year. She also borrowed money from her husband's parents, and his dad has been battling cancer on and off for the past few years and had a couple of surgeries that cost them a lot of money. Both of their parents paid their mortgage for over a year, and then 2 months ago, they decided to let the house foreclose. So both of their parents are out of all that money for nothing and they will never get the money back. My MIL babies my SIL. She walks on eggshells around her and treats her as if she can't do anything. My SIL is living with my MIL and FIL, so they pay for everything for her. My SIL complains that she has no money, yet she does to Dunkin Donuts every day for coffee and they go on date nights every weekend. Again, my MIL won't watch our kids so we can go out, but she will do anything for my nephew.
There was a night we asked her to watch our kids, and she said she couldn't because she was volunteering that night. I later found out that she cancelled her volunteer time to watch my nephew so my SIL could go out. I was so pissed!
I really feel bad for my husband. He's learned a lot about his mom and sister over the past few years and he's really not happy about it. He keeps apologizing to me for his family. It's not his fault. We can't pick our family and unfortunately, they aren't always the people we expect them to be. Lucky for me, they aren't my family and I can disassociate myself from them and stop asking them to be involved!
My son has a grandparents lunch coming up at school, so I invited my mom and my MIL and FIL. My mom was all for it. She was excited to be able to have lunch with my son at his school. My MIL told me she can't take the day off of work, so neither of them are going.
Ok, I get she has a job and all that. Let me also state that my nephew has been sick, and at my house for the past 2 days. I told my SIL on Tuesday that her son needs to go to the doctor. He was coughing and had a lot of chest congestion. He even sounded horse. She told me it was just him teething and not to worry about it. Yesterday, he was again at my house and he was coughing, very lethargic, and had a lot more congestion in his chest. When she picked him up, I again said she should make an appointment for him and even offered to take him to the doctor myself so she didn't have to take off work. She ended up getting an appointment last night and he has croup. So she texted me and told me that he wasn't coming today, her mom was taking the day off to stay with him.
First of all, why can't she stay home with her son? Her mom always takes off to take care of my nephew when he is sick. It makes no sense to me at all.
Second, why can my MIL take a day off of work to watch my sick nephew, but she can't take the day off to have lunch with my son at school? It's a one time thing. They only do this lunch in Kindergarten, so they won't get the chance to do this next year or any year after that. Not to mention she's been taking so much time off of work that she has been getting in trouble by her boss. She's going to end up losing her job all because she is taking care of her grandson.
My SIL is a prime example of why certain people shouldn't pro-create. She relies on her mom for everything, and my FIL is getting sick of it! She can't do anything on her own. She doesn't even take care of her kid. She seems to have absolutely no maternal instincts what-so-ever! She took money from her parents, who took the money out of their retirement funds, to pay her mortgage for the past year. She also borrowed money from her husband's parents, and his dad has been battling cancer on and off for the past few years and had a couple of surgeries that cost them a lot of money. Both of their parents paid their mortgage for over a year, and then 2 months ago, they decided to let the house foreclose. So both of their parents are out of all that money for nothing and they will never get the money back. My MIL babies my SIL. She walks on eggshells around her and treats her as if she can't do anything. My SIL is living with my MIL and FIL, so they pay for everything for her. My SIL complains that she has no money, yet she does to Dunkin Donuts every day for coffee and they go on date nights every weekend. Again, my MIL won't watch our kids so we can go out, but she will do anything for my nephew.
There was a night we asked her to watch our kids, and she said she couldn't because she was volunteering that night. I later found out that she cancelled her volunteer time to watch my nephew so my SIL could go out. I was so pissed!
I really feel bad for my husband. He's learned a lot about his mom and sister over the past few years and he's really not happy about it. He keeps apologizing to me for his family. It's not his fault. We can't pick our family and unfortunately, they aren't always the people we expect them to be. Lucky for me, they aren't my family and I can disassociate myself from them and stop asking them to be involved!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Making Time for My Family
It's been a while since I have posted here. Life has been so busy! Our business is picking up, the kids are back to school, we all have to get to karate twice a week, soccer 4 to 5 days a week, guitar lessons...that doesn't leave much time for taking care of the household! I should have a lot of time on my hands, since my kids are in school 6 hours a day, but there is this one major factor...my 11 month old nephew!
I love the kid! He's great! I'm so thankful that I have been able to spend the last year with him while his parents are working. It's been so nice being able to bond with him and my kids have gotten to be close with their cousin. When I was a kid, we were always around family. I knew my cousins well, and we spent a lot of time together. As we got older, that didn't happen as much, and now as adults I keep in contact with them through facebook and we get together on occasion, but we're not close.
My husband and I have been discussing a lot of things that need to change in our lives! We have a business for a reason...so I can stay home and raise our kids. The business is how I make money. It's been slow, so it hasn't been an issue for a while, but now things are picking up and I need more time. How do I get more time? The most logical answer is to stop watching my nephew. So my husband came up with a plan to tell his sister that we were done watching her son as of October 1. I told him 2 weeks notice wasn't fair, at least give her til the end of the year. He agreed, and we wanted to make time to talk to her and her husband when we could both be there, but it just didn't work out. So he went to talk to them on his own.
I would love to say that they reacted well and were happy to get 3 1/2 months notice. However, that wasn't the case. They got really defensive and said if I couldn't handle it I shouldn't have committed to it. Then she said it is my job, she hired me to watch her kid, and I am committed to it. She broke down into tears, got mad, made rude comments. I'm sure it was a great conversation for my husband to go through! He said he was nice about it all. He told her that we didn't watch their kid for the money, it was to help them out, and that none of us committed to any specific amount of time to watch him. He explained how our business is picking up, and that is how I make money for the family and how I want to be able to volunteer at school for my kids. She didn't care though. It was all about her and what was she going to do. By the end, they said they weren't mad and they would figure something out. However, a couple days later, I forgot to give her back some stuff for the baby and asked if I could drop it off. My husband said he was going there anyway to pick something else up, so I texted her and told her he would be coming later. He rang the doorbell. She opened the door just enough to grab the bag, grunted when my husband said "Sorry we forgot to give this to you" and slammed the door on him.
My thoughts on the whole situation are this:
- they have issues with me because I stood up to them regarding them not treating my son the way they treated my husband's son and it was making my son feel bad. Because they didn't want to hear it, they stopped talking to us for 3 years.
- As with any job I have ever had, I have the right to give 2 weeks notice to end my employment. Apparently, she sees me as her employee, which I am not! She should be happy to have gotten 3 1/2 months notice. She would have gotten 2 weeks notice if my husband had anything to say about it!
- They have been struggling for months over money. They had a house and an apartment. They were getting money from his parents and her parents to pay the mortgage on their house for the past year or so. And as of last month, they stopped paying the mortgage so they could let it go into foreclosure. They should totally understand that we need to make money to pay our bills too, and our business is the only way I make money.
- To say this is my "job" when I only get paid $20 a day for watching her kid for 10+ hours is a joke! We did this to help them, not for the money. $20 a day won't buy much, especially for a family of 5.
- My family and my business come first. I can't not take new business because of someone else's kid. I can't not volunteer at my kids schools because I have to take care of someone else's kid. I don't think it's fair to my family to put someone else's kid before them.
- She has made horrible comments about me in the past. She is always very cold to me. It's awkward being around her. She has never liked me. We have never been close. So why should I give up everything in my world for her? She told my husband's brother when I first agreed to watch the baby for $20 a day that she was making out! She knew she was getting a great deal. She's ok with taking advantage of me!
- Along with the taking advantage of me thing...she is always picking him up late. Sometimes I get a call or text and sometimes I get nothing. He is at my house from 5:45am to 4pm. She'll get here anytime between 4pm and 5pm to pick him up. She claims she can't take him food shopping, so she will stop and pick stuff up on her way. As if I have nothing better to do with my time!
I think the thing that bugs me the most about all of this is that when my oldest son was younger, I did work full time and my parents watched him. They watched him for a while, and then one day, they told me they couldn't do it anymore because my dad had lung cancer. It was a horrible thing to hear my dad say he had lung cancer. Trying to deal with that was just too much for me to handle. On top of that, I wanted to make arrangements quickly so I had someone to care for my son. Did I get mad at them or call them names? Of course not! I understand that life happens and you have to take responsibility and go with the flow. I was able to find a daycare quickly and I enrolled him so he could start asap. Still, I didn't get over the shock of my dad being sick.
My point is that I got a bombshell dropped on me when my parents told me they couldn't watch my son anymore, but I did what I needed to do without complaint. She is complaining about me stopping in December, and yet she has 3 1/2 months to find someone else. She has a lot of nerve.
Life happens, and it may not always be the way you want it to happen but you have to go with the flow. It's not the end of the world that we put an end date on watching her kid. Maybe it will push her to actually find a job and move to where her husband is so they can be together and she can stop complaining about that!
I love the kid! He's great! I'm so thankful that I have been able to spend the last year with him while his parents are working. It's been so nice being able to bond with him and my kids have gotten to be close with their cousin. When I was a kid, we were always around family. I knew my cousins well, and we spent a lot of time together. As we got older, that didn't happen as much, and now as adults I keep in contact with them through facebook and we get together on occasion, but we're not close.
My husband and I have been discussing a lot of things that need to change in our lives! We have a business for a reason...so I can stay home and raise our kids. The business is how I make money. It's been slow, so it hasn't been an issue for a while, but now things are picking up and I need more time. How do I get more time? The most logical answer is to stop watching my nephew. So my husband came up with a plan to tell his sister that we were done watching her son as of October 1. I told him 2 weeks notice wasn't fair, at least give her til the end of the year. He agreed, and we wanted to make time to talk to her and her husband when we could both be there, but it just didn't work out. So he went to talk to them on his own.
I would love to say that they reacted well and were happy to get 3 1/2 months notice. However, that wasn't the case. They got really defensive and said if I couldn't handle it I shouldn't have committed to it. Then she said it is my job, she hired me to watch her kid, and I am committed to it. She broke down into tears, got mad, made rude comments. I'm sure it was a great conversation for my husband to go through! He said he was nice about it all. He told her that we didn't watch their kid for the money, it was to help them out, and that none of us committed to any specific amount of time to watch him. He explained how our business is picking up, and that is how I make money for the family and how I want to be able to volunteer at school for my kids. She didn't care though. It was all about her and what was she going to do. By the end, they said they weren't mad and they would figure something out. However, a couple days later, I forgot to give her back some stuff for the baby and asked if I could drop it off. My husband said he was going there anyway to pick something else up, so I texted her and told her he would be coming later. He rang the doorbell. She opened the door just enough to grab the bag, grunted when my husband said "Sorry we forgot to give this to you" and slammed the door on him.
My thoughts on the whole situation are this:
- they have issues with me because I stood up to them regarding them not treating my son the way they treated my husband's son and it was making my son feel bad. Because they didn't want to hear it, they stopped talking to us for 3 years.
- As with any job I have ever had, I have the right to give 2 weeks notice to end my employment. Apparently, she sees me as her employee, which I am not! She should be happy to have gotten 3 1/2 months notice. She would have gotten 2 weeks notice if my husband had anything to say about it!
- They have been struggling for months over money. They had a house and an apartment. They were getting money from his parents and her parents to pay the mortgage on their house for the past year or so. And as of last month, they stopped paying the mortgage so they could let it go into foreclosure. They should totally understand that we need to make money to pay our bills too, and our business is the only way I make money.
- To say this is my "job" when I only get paid $20 a day for watching her kid for 10+ hours is a joke! We did this to help them, not for the money. $20 a day won't buy much, especially for a family of 5.
- My family and my business come first. I can't not take new business because of someone else's kid. I can't not volunteer at my kids schools because I have to take care of someone else's kid. I don't think it's fair to my family to put someone else's kid before them.
- She has made horrible comments about me in the past. She is always very cold to me. It's awkward being around her. She has never liked me. We have never been close. So why should I give up everything in my world for her? She told my husband's brother when I first agreed to watch the baby for $20 a day that she was making out! She knew she was getting a great deal. She's ok with taking advantage of me!
- Along with the taking advantage of me thing...she is always picking him up late. Sometimes I get a call or text and sometimes I get nothing. He is at my house from 5:45am to 4pm. She'll get here anytime between 4pm and 5pm to pick him up. She claims she can't take him food shopping, so she will stop and pick stuff up on her way. As if I have nothing better to do with my time!
I think the thing that bugs me the most about all of this is that when my oldest son was younger, I did work full time and my parents watched him. They watched him for a while, and then one day, they told me they couldn't do it anymore because my dad had lung cancer. It was a horrible thing to hear my dad say he had lung cancer. Trying to deal with that was just too much for me to handle. On top of that, I wanted to make arrangements quickly so I had someone to care for my son. Did I get mad at them or call them names? Of course not! I understand that life happens and you have to take responsibility and go with the flow. I was able to find a daycare quickly and I enrolled him so he could start asap. Still, I didn't get over the shock of my dad being sick.
My point is that I got a bombshell dropped on me when my parents told me they couldn't watch my son anymore, but I did what I needed to do without complaint. She is complaining about me stopping in December, and yet she has 3 1/2 months to find someone else. She has a lot of nerve.
Life happens, and it may not always be the way you want it to happen but you have to go with the flow. It's not the end of the world that we put an end date on watching her kid. Maybe it will push her to actually find a job and move to where her husband is so they can be together and she can stop complaining about that!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Day 10: I had to Talk Myself Through It
Today is day 10! I started my workout around 8am. Day 2 of the strength training workout that I do is rough! It's core and legs, so there are a lot of lunges and side lunges, which I really hate doing! I had to keep telling myself to just push through it and when I got to the 3rd set, I kept reminding myself that it was the last time I had to do these until next week! I pushed myself! I didn't give up! I got through it! It wasn't an easy thing to do, but I got through it!
After I was done with strength, I decided to try to Wii Active 2 game that I got a few months ago. I didn't even open it when I got it. I had to peel the wrapping off of it and set everything up. It was easy to set up, just a little time consuming. But not that it is set up, I won't have to do anything crazy later.
As for the game, I got a good cardio workout and it kept track of my heart rate. I set up my own workout, which wasn't well planned since I had never used the game before. I just picked exercises that I thought might work for me and repeated some, but I really had no idea how any of them worked. My creation was a bit messy and really had me repeating things that weren't necessary. It wasn't bad for my first time, but I would definitely do it differently next time.
Next week, I plan on doing the 3 week cardio workout plan they have set up within the game. It is 4 days a week for 3 weeks. It's worth a try! I have to get in at least 20 minutes of cardio a day and I think each day is a little more than that. It will be good for me to get into a routine. I'll have the other games I have as filler or extra workouts. I don't want to review Active 2 until I have gone through the 3 week routine. We'll see how it holds up!
After I was done with strength, I decided to try to Wii Active 2 game that I got a few months ago. I didn't even open it when I got it. I had to peel the wrapping off of it and set everything up. It was easy to set up, just a little time consuming. But not that it is set up, I won't have to do anything crazy later.
As for the game, I got a good cardio workout and it kept track of my heart rate. I set up my own workout, which wasn't well planned since I had never used the game before. I just picked exercises that I thought might work for me and repeated some, but I really had no idea how any of them worked. My creation was a bit messy and really had me repeating things that weren't necessary. It wasn't bad for my first time, but I would definitely do it differently next time.
Next week, I plan on doing the 3 week cardio workout plan they have set up within the game. It is 4 days a week for 3 weeks. It's worth a try! I have to get in at least 20 minutes of cardio a day and I think each day is a little more than that. It will be good for me to get into a routine. I'll have the other games I have as filler or extra workouts. I don't want to review Active 2 until I have gone through the 3 week routine. We'll see how it holds up!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Review: Gold's Gym Cardio Workout [Wii Game]
I started off in a boxer shuffle and then did a series of punches. There were several different punching combinations, some harder than others. I started off with the easy stuff...6 minutes of jab, cross. Then I went into 6 minutes of jab, cross, hook. Finally, I did 12 minutes of jab, cross, hook, uppercut. I did a total of 25 minutes, maintaining the boxer shuffle throughout the entire time.
After 25 minutes, I was soaking wet with sweat! I haven't sweat like that in a long time. I had sweat dripping from my forehead and my clothes were soaked. I was huffing and puffing. I had no idea I could get this kind of a workout from this game!
24 + hours after doing this, in addition to my strength training, I am sore. My arms and shoulders hurt! Again, I had no idea this game could give me such a great workout! When I put the game in, I was expecting to be able to just move around a little and get some exercise in. I did not expect to sweat like a pig and be sore the next day! It was a lot like some of the workouts we do in karate. I can totally see this game helping me become better at karate. It will give me the practice I need with punches, accuracy, speed, etc.
I think when I first used this game, I expected that it was going to be more than just a boxing-type workout. I was pretty disappointed when I turned it on for the first time and realized there wasn't much to it other than boxing. There are a few other exercises you can unlock. After using the game yesterday and getting such an awesome workout, I am no longer disappointed. I'm actually looking forward to playing it tomorrow!
Days 4 - 9
I am still doing well with my exercising. I have stuck with doing something at least every other day. I haven't started running yet, but have found other ways, either by walking, videos or the Wii, to get in cardio. Karate is a great way to get in cardio as well! I've been tracking everything I do on a calendar on my wall as well as on SparkPeople.com. So I've made it over a week and am doing well! I even had a day of rest!
Yesterdays workout has really made my arms and shoulders sore! I really worked hard yesterday and I am feeling it today! That means I got in a great workout!
I am happy with my progress so far and am doing my best to stick with it!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
I Caved!
I decided to give up soda. Well, I decided that a long time ago, but didn't do it. So I decided to actually do it this time. I was doing good...I wasn't buying to when I went to the store or when we went out to eat. I actually ordered Raspberry Iced Tea last time we went out to eat. I haven't had a soda in a couple weeks!
And then today I got lazy! I went to the store with my step-son to pick up something for lunch, and near the lunch counter was a cooler of soda. Sure, I could have walked around to find something better for me to drink or even just waited until we got our food home to get a drink. Instead, I chose a bottle of soda. It actually took me quite a long time to make that decision. I kept telling myself how good I was doing and that I didn't need the soda. But my laziness won out and I grabbed it, knowing full well I would feel guilty about it later.
3 hours later, I'm still drinking the soda, feeling horrible after every sip of it. Soda is horrible for you and it really makes me feel bad physically. I just can't see wasting it. I will say, it had a horrible taste now. I'm not enjoying it AND I'm feeling guilty about drinking it, so what was the point of caving in and getting a soda. I guess there was none. At least I know it's just not worth it! And tomorrow starts day 1 of my no soda diet! Let's hope I don't cave again!
And then today I got lazy! I went to the store with my step-son to pick up something for lunch, and near the lunch counter was a cooler of soda. Sure, I could have walked around to find something better for me to drink or even just waited until we got our food home to get a drink. Instead, I chose a bottle of soda. It actually took me quite a long time to make that decision. I kept telling myself how good I was doing and that I didn't need the soda. But my laziness won out and I grabbed it, knowing full well I would feel guilty about it later.
3 hours later, I'm still drinking the soda, feeling horrible after every sip of it. Soda is horrible for you and it really makes me feel bad physically. I just can't see wasting it. I will say, it had a horrible taste now. I'm not enjoying it AND I'm feeling guilty about drinking it, so what was the point of caving in and getting a soda. I guess there was none. At least I know it's just not worth it! And tomorrow starts day 1 of my no soda diet! Let's hope I don't cave again!
Days 2 and 3
So far so good! I've been sticking to my workout schedule and have added in some extra!
Day 2 - walked 3 miles
Day 3 - an hour bike ride with a friend and my step-son.
- Day 2 of my strength training - core and legs - that was tough!
- 2 mile walk
- 60 minute karate class with a crazy workout
Ok, so maybe I went a little overboard on day 3, but I feel pretty good about everything I did yesterday. Today is day 4, and all I have planned is karate. Nothing too intense for today, I figured it could be slightly a day of rest because I had so much to get done today. My schedule says to start with doing everything every other day, so I'm on track! I just hope with the 4 day weekend that I'll be able to get in my exercise!
Day 2 - walked 3 miles
Day 3 - an hour bike ride with a friend and my step-son.
- Day 2 of my strength training - core and legs - that was tough!
- 2 mile walk
- 60 minute karate class with a crazy workout
Ok, so maybe I went a little overboard on day 3, but I feel pretty good about everything I did yesterday. Today is day 4, and all I have planned is karate. Nothing too intense for today, I figured it could be slightly a day of rest because I had so much to get done today. My schedule says to start with doing everything every other day, so I'm on track! I just hope with the 4 day weekend that I'll be able to get in my exercise!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
First Day of School
Well, it's here...the first day of school! The kids got up, got ready, ate breakfast and then waited...and waited...and waited. They got ready so early, they got bored of having to wait! Both were super excited about going to school...my oldest in a new school and my youngest starting Kindergarten! There was no craziness this morning at all! I hope every morning if like this!
Off we went to the bus stop. My oldest gets to take the bus to school. Unfortunately, it was late so I had to drop him off and take the youngest to school. He didn't want me to stand there with him anyway!
Walking down the hall to my son's Kindergarten class...holding his hand just amazed at the fact that he is going to school. I started to get a little choked up, but stopped myself so he didn't get upset. We got to observe his class for a little as they colored a paper and got situated at their desks. He called me over and asked me to stay close to him. He held my hand. He hugged me. He never got upset, he just seemed a bit nervous. Then the teacher said we had to leave. He was good about it. He gave us hugs and he said he'll see us later.
Now I'm home, and I feel so lost. I'm not sure what to do with myself. My step-son is here, but he's in his room, so I am sitting here watching TV, typing this, and trying to figure out what to do next. Have I completely forgotten how to be me? I feel like I should be doing something for the kids. It's going to take some time for me to figure all of this out.
I know eventually I will get used to this, but for now, I'm just going to sit and relax and wait for the time when I get to pick up my little man from Kindergarten on his first day, and then later get my oldest off the bus.
Off we went to the bus stop. My oldest gets to take the bus to school. Unfortunately, it was late so I had to drop him off and take the youngest to school. He didn't want me to stand there with him anyway!
Walking down the hall to my son's Kindergarten class...holding his hand just amazed at the fact that he is going to school. I started to get a little choked up, but stopped myself so he didn't get upset. We got to observe his class for a little as they colored a paper and got situated at their desks. He called me over and asked me to stay close to him. He held my hand. He hugged me. He never got upset, he just seemed a bit nervous. Then the teacher said we had to leave. He was good about it. He gave us hugs and he said he'll see us later.
Now I'm home, and I feel so lost. I'm not sure what to do with myself. My step-son is here, but he's in his room, so I am sitting here watching TV, typing this, and trying to figure out what to do next. Have I completely forgotten how to be me? I feel like I should be doing something for the kids. It's going to take some time for me to figure all of this out.
I know eventually I will get used to this, but for now, I'm just going to sit and relax and wait for the time when I get to pick up my little man from Kindergarten on his first day, and then later get my oldest off the bus.
Monday, August 29, 2011
My Baby is 5!
Today is my youngest son's 5th birthday. How time flies! I remember being pregnant with him like it was yesterday! My pregnancy was not easy! I was bedridden 3 times due to complications and bleeding. I'm actually surprised he made it! That was a very stressful time in my life! We were having issues with the in-laws, and for most of my pregnancy we weren't talking to them. There was a lot of fighting going on throughout the time I was pregnant. I am thankful that my little man made it through all of that!
5 years...it just seems so impossible! I'll never forget how the nurse almost made me pass out because she kept sticking me over and over again with the IV to get it in my hand and she was missing the vein. I think even I could hit a vein in me! I said "I can't hear right and things are starting to go dark." She said "Oh, you're starting to pass out, I'll give you a minute before I try this again." I said "you have one more chance. If you don't get it in, I want another nurse!" She got it in! Then there was the epidural which wasn't in the right way and I could feel everything. They had to readjust it. I guess that was a bad day for me a needles!
I did get the greatest gift of all...my little man! It was really an amazing day...my husband, who wasn't able to be at the birth of his first son, got to see his 2nd son be born. He almost passed out when they gave me the epidural, but he made through everything else just fine! I was at total peace when I was holding my little man because I was so scared through the 9 months that I would lose him. It was such a relief to hold him in my arms! The only thing I was upset about was that my dad wasn't around to see my new little guy. I miss my dad, and times like that are the most difficult to get through. He would have loved my new little bundle of joy! At least my mom was able to be there and she brought my oldest son! She was a huge help during that time, as she always is!
Fast forward 5 years...my little man woke up to a house full of balloons! My husband had them tied to everything on the house! It was soo cute to see my boy go around counting them. There were 27...originally 30, but 3 popped! Now he's playing the Phineas and Ferb Wii game with his older brother, which he got for his birthday! He's perfectly content to just hang out! He lucked out too, today was supposed to be his first day of school, but Hurricane Irene cancelled the day and he was ecstatic that he didn't have to go to school on his birthday! We'll be heading out for lunch soon and then we'll see what he wants to do for the rest of the day!
I just can't believe how fast time flies! My baby is 5 years old! It just doesn't seem possible! I am thankful to have him in my life! I love him with all my heart and wouldn't change him for the world!
And now...time for lunch...
5 years...it just seems so impossible! I'll never forget how the nurse almost made me pass out because she kept sticking me over and over again with the IV to get it in my hand and she was missing the vein. I think even I could hit a vein in me! I said "I can't hear right and things are starting to go dark." She said "Oh, you're starting to pass out, I'll give you a minute before I try this again." I said "you have one more chance. If you don't get it in, I want another nurse!" She got it in! Then there was the epidural which wasn't in the right way and I could feel everything. They had to readjust it. I guess that was a bad day for me a needles!
I did get the greatest gift of all...my little man! It was really an amazing day...my husband, who wasn't able to be at the birth of his first son, got to see his 2nd son be born. He almost passed out when they gave me the epidural, but he made through everything else just fine! I was at total peace when I was holding my little man because I was so scared through the 9 months that I would lose him. It was such a relief to hold him in my arms! The only thing I was upset about was that my dad wasn't around to see my new little guy. I miss my dad, and times like that are the most difficult to get through. He would have loved my new little bundle of joy! At least my mom was able to be there and she brought my oldest son! She was a huge help during that time, as she always is!
Fast forward 5 years...my little man woke up to a house full of balloons! My husband had them tied to everything on the house! It was soo cute to see my boy go around counting them. There were 27...originally 30, but 3 popped! Now he's playing the Phineas and Ferb Wii game with his older brother, which he got for his birthday! He's perfectly content to just hang out! He lucked out too, today was supposed to be his first day of school, but Hurricane Irene cancelled the day and he was ecstatic that he didn't have to go to school on his birthday! We'll be heading out for lunch soon and then we'll see what he wants to do for the rest of the day!
I just can't believe how fast time flies! My baby is 5 years old! It just doesn't seem possible! I am thankful to have him in my life! I love him with all my heart and wouldn't change him for the world!
And now...time for lunch...
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